By Olivia McGuire // Illustration by Julie Millard
—
If you’re reading this, you are probably waiting for your “pride and joy” to come home from college for a short and sweet visit. And you may be wondering: What should I expect, now that they’ve started school and lived on their own? Don’t worry — they’re more than ready to come home, as they are probably strung out from doing all the things you told them not to do.
Personally, my least favorite “adulting” chores include making my bed, doing laundry, and preparing my own food (the dining hall gets boring pretty fast). So, parents, that’s a perfect place for you to start! Your “Back Home Baller,” as my dad calls me (watch the Saturday Night Live skit on YouTube if you don’t know what I’m talking about), will be looking for you to help with these things as soon as they pull into the driveway.
And don’t be alarmed when they come in, say “hi,” and go straight to their room to lie on their bed. After all, this is the bedroom they grew up in, so there is probably some separation anxiety; just let them have a moment. You can, however, make that moment much more special by making the bed with clean sheets. (This will definitely make your college kid feel loved!) Having a clean bed will also encourage them to sleep until noon on their short break, since the midnight to 7 a.m. schedule has taken its toll.
Also, please make sure the refrigerator is well-stocked, and the pantry should be practically overflowing with all their favorite snacks. If you need ideas, I’ve got them: GoGo Squeezes, their favorite flavors of chips, granola bars, fruit snacks, crackers, and anything else from the grocery store that might pique their interest. The fridge should be filled with fruit and berries, cheese and salami, yogurt (not plain please), and vegetables (but only if your college kid likes them). Finally, if your kid happens to be female, make sure you buy some ridiculously priced alternative milk for her triple-shot vanilla lattes.
You’re probably thinking to yourself, wow that is a lot. And it is, but there’s more!
A college kid, by far, misses nothing more than a homemade meal (one they didn’t have to lift a finger to make). So, when they ask for their favorite (you know, the one that takes hours to prepare), well, they would really appreciate it if you would make it for them. And if you’re feeling generous, put a few of their other favorite meals in the weekly rotation, too.
Now for the cherry on top — the laundry. I know any college student will agree that this task is the biggest pain in the butt. While sleeping and eating are necessary — you need them to survive — laundry, on the other hand, can be done tomorrow, or the next day, or even next week. At school, my laundry piles up until I’m finally forced to do it because I can no longer get into my closet. Clothes are spilling out in every direction, so I drag them downstairs to the basement of my dorm and wash them in washers that don’t really get the smell out. (I’m sure your newly independent child does the same.)
Now, for this one, don’t ask, just offer. Chances are your college kid’s suitcase is filled with dirty clothes. And if they claim they are clean, trust me, they’re not. So, go straight ahead and throw in a quick load for them. They will thank you later.
And now we’ve come to the curfew. Something you and your teen consistently fought about while they were still living at home.
“Can I please stay out later than 12?”
“No. Stop asking. If you keep asking you are not going out.”
Unfortunately, they don’t live under your roof anymore (at least full-time) and have likely been out until 3 a.m. every weekend. (C’mon, you remember doing that too — it was the time of your life!) So, when they come home for the summer to hang out with friends — friends they haven’t seen in months, friends who go to different schools — you may have to budge a little on the curfew (or, as many college students would like, not enforce one at all). This may be strange at first, but don’t worry. Chances are they won’t be out until 3 a.m., as our small mountain valleys aren’t that entertaining.
Kind of overwhelming, right? I mean, after all, you did get used to cheaper grocery store hauls, less laundry, and sleeping through the night without a 17-year-old running around the valley. I know — it’s been kind of nice. But remember, they really do miss you, even if they don’t show it, and they especially appreciate being welcomed back into their home with a clean bed, food coming at them in every direction, and freshly washed clothes.
And — it will all be worth it when your college kid finally sits down with you at the end of the day, confiding in you and relaying stories about all the things you told them not to do. It puts your relationship on a whole new level. And it’s all part of growing up, right?
