By Olivia McGuire // Illustration by Julie Millard
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“Mom, stop! He’s not even my boyfriend. We are just in a situationship.”
Does this sound familiar, but like a completely different language at the same time?
Do terms like rizz, situationship, talking, soft launch, and hard launch circulate in your teen’s vocab?
It sounds simple, but does “Mom! We aren’t dating, we are just talking!” still confuse you?
Well, parents, you’re not alone.
Below you will find a long-winded explanation of what exactly your teen’s new lingo means.
Let’s start with the most important word that pretty much encapsulates the others — Rizz. I’m sure you’ve probably looked this term up on Urban Dictionary, and the definition sounds something like “being able to spit game” or simply being a “chick magnet.” Fortunately, this isn’t far from the truth, but it’s a little more nuanced. Terms like W rizz (short for “win” plus “charisma”) and L rizz (the “L” standing for “loss” or “lemon”) up the ante just a little. W rizz refers to someone who has excellent flirting skills and charm, whereas L rizz means quite the opposite, described as cringey or awkward attempts at making conversation. Still, most of us can agree that rizz typically means one’s ability to attract or charm others.
Once teens get past the initial “rizz phase,” a relationship comes into play. But again, one term doesn’t fit all, as varying levels of relationships exist. There’s the situationship and the talking stage, two things that seem similar, but actually aren’t.
If your teen comes home saying they’re in a situationship, that typically means they are “leaving the door open.” They may like each other, but not enough to date each other or to stop seeing other people … just yet, that is. The talking stage goes one step further. If your teen refers to the relationship by saying, “we’re talking,” it means they are testing the water and considering dating this person. You can call it a “test drive” — dating without the label.
If your teen is committed enough to hang on through the situationship and the talking stage, next comes the soft and hard launch.
Now, you might be asking yourself: What in the world are we launching? And why is there a soft and a hard version?
I know, it gets confusing.
Say your teen’s relationship turned from a situationship to talking, and now they’re ready to take the next step. Well, they can either soft launch or hard launch the relationship. This usually refers to some type of social media post or debut at an event.
For a soft launch, you would post a picture of you and your boyfriend holding hands, or a picture of him walking in front of you, without tagging him. Obvious, yet mysterious. This way, everyone knows you have a boyfriend, but they have no way of figuring out who.
A hard launch is an announcement given to everyone that you’re dating. This can include posting a picture of the two of you together or showing up to a social event arm in arm — without telling anyone ahead of time — loud, bold, and proud.
It really wasn’t that complicated back in your day, was it? You were either together and dating, or you weren’t. No one had rizz, and you weren’t in a situationship on and off with one guy for years. And certainly, you were never hard launched.
But hey, at least we don’t have to talk to our boyfriends on the family landline attached to the wall, while everyone’s in the same room.
Parents — rehearse these terms, so you can actually sound hip when you use them …
rizz:
One’s ability to naturally charm or attract someone romantically through personality or smooth conversation.
situationship:
A romantic relationship that exists without a clear label, commitment, or defined expectations.
talking:
The stage before dating, where two people are getting to know each other romantically.
soft launch:
Subtly hinting that you are seeing someone (typically on social media), without officially announcing it.
hard launch:
To publicly and clearly announce a relationship, leaving no room for guessing (usually on social media).
